Rumble in the Chapel

Wow! I just got home from the most uncomfortable church meeting ever. I had a Primary Presidency meeting tonight to discuss the upcoming program. There is a certain older lady that is always wherever her daughter and grandson are. This lady, we'll call her Dora, kept coming into our meeting and interrupting to report on what the kids were doing outside. (Once, it was appropriate because Ian was doing heelys on top of a wall, but every other time was uncalled for.) So after about 10 interruptions (6 from Dora, 4 from my kids), we were about to wrap up our meeting with a prayer when she came in and said, 

"Oh, I just have to tell you that my grandson doesn't like it when you call him Mikey. His name is Mike." (Name has been changed to protect the innocent.) 

The second counselor said, "OK, but 'Mikey' is just an endearing nickname. We all love Mike. He is special to us, that is why we called him 'Mikey. We didn't do it to offend you or Mike."

Well, Dora got mad all of the sudden and started yelling at the second counselor, shaking her finger in her face and even said a swear word (at church, in the stake president's office no less)! 

2nd Counselor, "Wow! What a mouth you have, swearing like that! Well, OK you've said what you wanted to say. Let's forget about it, we're in the middle of a meeting. Anyway, what are you doing in here? You are not in the Primary Presidency, you don't belong in this meeting."

Dora, "In Spain, everyone says that word. How dare you try to shut me up! After this I won't have anything to do with you ever again! You were brought up badly! I am here because my daughter is here. I am allowed to be here because she is." (and on and on and on).

All the while, the Primary President and I were shooting worried looks at each other and avoiding the gaze of Dora's daughter who is the secretary. I thinking we were both wondering what we should do if they started slapping or punching each other. Finally, Dora left the room and we closed with a prayer. There was a very ominous feeling in the room, in spite of the President's prayer. Dora's daughter talked to the second counselor and told her that she should show some respect to Dora because she is an older woman and that the 2nd counselor's response and behavior might be OK in Colombia, but were inappropriate in Spain. The 2nd counselor said that she loved and respected both the secretary and Mike, but she stood by what she said. The secretary left and the rest of us talked about what had happened. 

It turns out that aside todays ruckus, Dora has been stirring up other trouble. After listening in on our meetings Dora has gone and made mischief in the ward. One older girl in Primary always goes into the nursery to help instead of coming to Primary. In one of our meetings, we said that she should come to Primary instead. Dora heard this and told the mother of the girl (who also happens to be married to the Bishop) what we said. The girl's mother came to the President and said that she didn't appreciate the fact that we were talking about her daughter and what her daughter does on Sunday is none of our business. 

As a presidency, we don't really know how to proceed. We love our secretary, but her mother's presence in all our meetings is kind of cramping our style. What to do? What to do? On the other hand, it makes all small scenes in the wards I have attended in the U.S. seem tame. I have never seen a 70 year old woman fighting with a 48 year old woman. At least it was only shouting and hand gestures. I'm so glad Collin wasn't there, if he has to leave during uncomfortable moments on the Office or in the movie theater, imagine what he would have done during a granny fight.

On a more uplifting note, Collin and I went to Catholic mass this morning. The Cathedral was huge and decorated in a very ornate manner. There were enough pews to seat 1,000 people, but there were only 7 people who attended that particular mass, including us. There was a lot of incense, ritualistic gestures, latin chanting and Spanish mass and prayers. I enjoyed it and it was also very relaxing to listen to the priests chanting in Latin. I do think the cathedrals are designed to glorify God, but also make sure that people feel humbled when they enter. They had wafers and wine for the sacrament, but of course we didn't partake. I was actually baptized as a Catholic when I was little and attended Catholic church on Sundays and went to a Catholic private school when I lived in Hawaii with my mother and two of my sisters. 

Both of my conversation partners cancelled on me today which left me with a lot of time to read Mark Haddon's A Spot of Bother, in Spanish. My grammar lessons are getting much harder. I am working on  the pluperfect tense right now. My book has gotten so difficult that I am supplementing it with The Ultimate Spanish Review and Practice: Mastering Spanish Grammar for Confident Communication. Doesn't that sound like a thrilling read? But I am desperate to be able to speak Spanish confidently, so I think this new book (that I found in the Primary closet at church) is a good way to go.

My new conversation partner, Flor, is from Ecuador. She is a good partner because she corrects my mistakes and has taught Spanish before. But her English is terrible. It took her a full 10 minutes to construct and say this (with tons of pauses and mistakes and questions in Spanish about how to say what she was trying to say in English), "I found a book called 'Speak English in 7 Days.' I read it and liked it. It is easy for me to read and write in English, but I can't speak it very well." I felt really bad for her and told her not to worry because a few months ago, I was the same as her (but with Spanish). Flor is living in Granada and works by caring for an elderly person. She does not like her job. Her husband and two daughters are still in Ecuador. Her dream is to work as a tour guide for her friend's agency in Ecuador, but first she has to learn to speak English, French and German. I wish I had gotten an ESL certification. Then I would have been able to teach English and earn some Euros. Next time for sure, even if I just teach it in our house during the day while the kids are at school. I think there is a certification program in State College in January and February. My mom is doing her certification in California and loves it. 

We gave the kids new nicknames. Aidan's is DJ Cash Flow. Emma's is Little Miss Sassafrass. Ian's is Monkey Business. I think these would all make great recording artist names.